I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
