I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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