i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
