Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize