just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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