i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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