i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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