Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
