I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
