My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
