I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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