Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
