people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Also, beer. Big fan.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
