I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This is classic penis vs brain.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize