Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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