why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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