Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
