Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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