i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
