I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
