I don't usually arrange sex via text message
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
