Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
