They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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