So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
