You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
