People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
