I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
