Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
