Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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