just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
why is half of my head shaved?
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