i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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