Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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