i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
