He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize