flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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