Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
