she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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