They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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