The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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