you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
