the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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