Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
