he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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