she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
