I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
