you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
