Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
