I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
