Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
