a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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