so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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