so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
