okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
