I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
