I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
