I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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