i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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