just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
